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Grief and Bereavement Counselling

Grief and loss touch every life, yet without the right support, the path through grief can feel isolating and endless. As a clinical psychologist with over 15 years of experience, I’ve walked alongside hundreds of patients grieving the sudden deaths of loved ones, or enduring the pain of watching family members suffer through cancer and debilitating disease. Yet others come in with their hearts broken by grief because of problems like infertility, the untimely end of a treasured friendship or because of divorce.

What Are Common Causes Of Grief?

While most of us think of the death of a loved one as the biggest bereavement, many times in my practice we sit in grief over the loss of a dream or a long-held desire. For example, parents and children grieve when a child is denied a coveted place in medical school.
Other parents grieve the loss of their vision of themselves surrounded by family in their old age when an adult child decides to move overseas permanently.
Yet others find themselves grieving the end of a career that ended too soon, or grieving the loss of their image of themselves as active and vigorous when suddenly faced with a serious but unexpected health condition.

How Do I Know If I Need Help After A Sudden Bereavement?

Grief doesn’t arrive neatly packaged—over my 15 years of practice, I’ve seen it manifest in countless ways, often catching people off guard because it shows up not just as tears, but woven into every layer of your being: emotions, thoughts, body, behaviors, and even your sense of self. 

In the case of a sudden death or loss by suicide, the heart of grief is emotional intensity—sadness that hollows you out, anger that flares at the unfairness (“Why them? Why now?”), guilt or regret (“If only I’d said more”), and profound yearning or pining for the lost person.

Grief clouds the mind: disbelief (“This can’t be real”), preoccupation with memories or “what ifs,” difficulty concentrating (that foggy “brain fog”), confusion, or even fleeting hallucinations like hearing their voice. 

Rumination traps people—replaying the last moments or searching for meaning—while some feel identity disruption, as if part of themselves died too. In my practice, professionals often arrive saying something to the effect of, “I stare at my screen, but nothing sticks,” a common sign that grief hijacks executive function, persisting beyond months into complicated grief if unaddressed.​

 Many clients describe physical sensations like chest tightness or a “broken heart pain”, a choking sensation or lump in their throat or nausea and headaches. Often this translates into sleeplessness and physical ailments. 

Priya, grieving the loss of a stillborn child, came in with chronic migraines and gut pain she’d dismissed as stress—somatic work revealed them as grief’s physical echo, easing as she processed her grief over losing the unborn child, and the visions she had of her future family. 

While many people work through these feelings alone, or with friends and family, reach out for professional help if the feelings intensify and persist. Therapy can help when greef blends with earlier traumas into emotional pain that feels unbearable, like intense loneliness or a sense that life lacks meaning.

When Does Grief Become A Problem?

Grief isn’t linear. It brings  waves of sadness, anger, numbness, or yearning that can linger on and on. If grief continues beyond a few months, it can become entrenched, and becomes what we call “complicated grief”. 

While grief is a normal part of life, grief gets entrenched mostly because we don’t know how to work with it. Many patients go silent, and turn to alcohol, drugs or even gaming addictions to avoid the difficult feelings. Others act out in anger or shut down completely to the loved ones around them. Yet others find themselves ruminating over the loss, what the person meant to them, and find it difficult to see a way forward. 

If you or a family member is struggling with loss, prolonged grief, or bereavement, reach out at dramrit.org.

How Do I Help A Child Deal With Grief And Loss?

Supporting a grieving child starts with presence, patience, and honest, age-appropriate conversations. The goal is to help the child feel safe, seen, and never alone with their big feelings.

  • Be honest and gentle

    Use simple, clear language about the loss instead of vague phrases like “gone” or “went to sleep,” which can confuse or frighten a child. Reassure them that their questions are welcome and that no feeling is “wrong” or too much to share.

  • Create a safe space for feelings

    Invite the child to express their grief through talking, drawing, stories, or play, especially if they struggle to find words. Stay close, listen without interrupting or correcting, and reflect back what you hear so they feel understood and accepted.

  • Offer stability and reassurance

    Maintain familiar routines around meals, school, and bedtime so the child has a sense of predictability amid change. Gently remind them that they are loved, cared for, and not to blame for what happened, addressing any worries or guilt they may carry.

  • Remember and honour the loved one

    Help the child stay connected through small rituals such as looking at photos, telling favorite stories, lighting a candle, or creating a memory box. These acts can bring comfort and show that love continues in the form of memories and values shared.

  • Know when to seek professional help

    If their distress is very intense or doesn’t ease over time—such as ongoing nightmares, withdrawal, aggression, or changes in school or eating—it can help to reach out to a child therapist or grief counselor. Professional support can gently guide both the child and family through the healing process.

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