PSLE Anxiety: Mental health or future success?

Walking through a leafy park connector last week, I noticed a child sitting alone, his face buried in a book while a younger sibling played more freely on a swing set. At first glance, nothing seemed amiss. Yet, the furrowed brows and the relentless flipping of a Primary 6 assessment book pages told a different story—a story of quiet stress, one many Singaporean children wear like a hidden badge in the years leading up to the PSLE.

The Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE), Singapore's rite of passage into adolescence, is both a marker of academic achievement and, unfortunately, a crucible of anxiety for countless students. In recent years, there have been sobering reports of children struggling under immense pressure, some tragically succumbing to despair.   

These stories, are unfortunately, not rare, and have shaken us as a nation. They compel us to ask: what is the real cost of academic success, and how can we, as parents and guardians, balance ambition with emotional well-being?

The Weight of Expectations

The PSLE has long been a benchmark of academic prowess, but it’s also a reflection of societal expectations. While we all understand this from our own experience and the experience of family and friends, research from psychology journals confirms the detrimental effects of high stakes testing on young minds.

A 2022 study by Singaporean researchers in the journal Psychiatry found that children facing heightened academic pressure are more likely to exhibit signs of anxiety and depression, particularly when the pressure is compounded by parental expectations. 

For children, the pressure to succeed can feel overwhelming, especially when they internalize the idea that their worth is tied to their grades. This is exacerbated by Singapore’s competitive educational culture, which sometimes fosters a "survival of the fittest" mentality. In this race for excellence, some children may lose sight of their intrinsic value, leading to feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness.

Striking the Balance: Advice for Parents

Reflecting on this, I’m reminded of a conversation I had with a neighbour last week. A mother of two, she shared her struggles to balance achievement with empathy. “I want my child to be happy, but I also want them to not struggle financially like I did” she said, her voice tinged with uncertainty.

For parents, navigating this tightrope can be daunting. Here are some practical pieces of advice, drawn from psychological research and my observations:

1. Focus on Effort, Not Outcomes

Well established research by psychologist Dr Caroline Dweck and others emphasizes the importance of praising effort  (what a child can control), rather than results (what they can’t control). When parents celebrate their child’s hard work and persistence, rather than simply the grades they achieve, children are more likely to develop a growth mindset. This transfers the focus on effort and persistence to all future endeavours, and pays off in the long run, regardless of PSLE results.

2. Create a Safe Emotional Space

Children should feel comfortable discussing their fears and challenges without fear of judgment. As parents, it’s vital to listen actively and validate their emotions. Encourage your child to share their worries about PSLE and remind them that their feelings are valid, no matter how small they may seem. For how to do this, see my previous blog post “Talk so your teens will listen” .

3. Introduce Non-Academic Passions

Having hobbies and interests outside of school can help children maintain a balanced perspective. Whether it’s sports, music, or art, these activities provide an outlet for stress and remind children that there’s life beyond the classroom. If things fall apart academically, it serves as a reminder that they can be good at other things. So, if yours is the kid who is constantly doodling, let him doodle. Encourage his efforts at practicing his art, and be his champion. If nothing else, he’ll remember you as his biggest support, not his biggest source of anxiety.  

4. Model Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Children often mirror their parents’ behaviour. If you’re constantly anxious about their results, or critical of them, they’re likely to adopt similar stress responses.  If you’re doubtful, just see the number of such stories in our media.

Unfortunately, our worst inner critic is often modelled on the voice of our harshest parental figure. Commit to modelling calmness and positive self-talk, even during challenging times. If you find yourself overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to seek professional help for yourself for the sake of your family dynamic.

Rethinking our Academic Culture

As a society, we need to rethink our approach to education. Success should not come at the expense of mental health. Ultimately, our children are more than their PSLE results. Just look at the number of  academically “poor” students who were forced to do overseas degrees, who then excelled at work and at climbing the corporate ladder. Look also at the number of “foreign talent” who never did PSLE or had to go through the stress of our local school systems who head the local branches of so many MNCs.

Needless to say, we are stuck in an antiquated system that prides itself on kids being able to spout model answers and unlock the formulas to so-called “thinking questions”.

For those with money, private school is often the solution as this is legally permissible for Singaporeans past age 12. But even then, the world is changing and our education models need to change. I don’t have the solution for all of us, but it’s worth remembering that our children are individuals filled with potential and dreams that extend far beyond the confines of a classroom. Let us remind them—constantly and wholeheartedly—that their worth is immeasurable, irrespective of their grades and that they are loved, supported, and cherished just as they are. After all, for all our best efforts, the future is assured to none.

If you’re struggling to keep this point of view and are finding yourself swayed by your child’s exam pressure, please reach out. https://dramrit.org/contact

For more parenting related content, check out my blog posts:

“Talk so your teens will listen” at https://dramrit.org/blog-3-1/blog-post-title-one-cdsyt

“The No Drama Mama” at https://dramrit.org/blog-3-1/blog-post-title-four-8nbd6

“The Imaginary Audience” at https://dramrit.org/blog-3-1/blog-post-title-three-8ah3s

“Catch them being Good” at https://dramrit.org/blog-3-1/blog-post-title-two-lccpr

I am no longer seeing children in my private practice, but am happy to see teens above 15, and to support caregivers in their parenting journey. Contact me at Dramrit.sg@gmail.com